DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking.....................Moooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
Emotionally Secure...........On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free Spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first.....................Former tramp
New-Age...................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned....................No P.J.'s
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing......................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional........................Witch.
Voluptuous......... ...............Very fat.
Large frame..........................Hugely fat.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe...................................No
We need.................................I want
We need to talk.........................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead..........................You better not
Do what you want..............You will pay for this later
I am not upset...........Of course,I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight..Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry.............................I am hungry
I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored......................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?...I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?..I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?...I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit ....I'm gay.
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